Security

I do not wantto lose that sense of security that has taken so long to build up.  For years, slowly by slowly, one hurdle overcome after another, I finally developed some measure of self-confidence and security in my abilities and experience.   Yet, ever since Thursday, my feelings of security have been shaken.  This shows me, that even though I know that it is God who has helped me to build up my confidence, that He is the One Who guided me and helped me to learn and to grow and to become the person that I am; my confidence may not be as wholly in the LORD as I'd like to think.   If my confidence was truly in the LORD, then nothing in this world should be able to shake it.  But, as I analyze what I am going through, I am actually regaining the lost ground by focusing on the TRUTHs, rather than the doubts that have infiltrated.

The TRUTHs are that God knows my heart, He knows Who I am, He knows my abilities, and He is the One who has been with me through my growth and experience.  I need to take my eyes off of my own insecurities I have had since I was a child; and not allow those to cause fear and doubt in my life.  When an incident occurs that triggers my insecurities, and opens the floodgates that previously kept all the associated emotions at bay, it's not so much the incident itself, but more so all the unresolved feelings that the incident brought back.

However, God loves me and I fear Him.  I also know Him, through my personal walk with Him, through my studies of His Word, through all that He has taught me.   He "is able to do immeasurably more than [I could] ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within [me].  (Eph 3:20)   After all, isn't His strength made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinth 12:9)?  So, my weaknesses remind me to trust in Him, and they keep me humble.   May He be glorified in my life.