My Thorn

So, here I am once again contemplating my thorn.   I have truly placed it on the altar and given it as a burnt offering to the LORD.   Yet, I've learned that it does not mean that my thorn will no longer cause me pain; nor that it has been taken away.   It just means that I've given it to the LORD, and trust that He will or will not take it away, according to His Will and Plan for my life.  I submit to that, am content in my situation, and have even learned to rejoice in my circumstance.

However, I do admit that sometimes I feel sad and want the thorn to be taken away.  But, I praise God that His grace is truly sufficient for me.   While I entrust my life to HIM, and have given HIM my thorn, I also know that it is possible that He may one day decide to take it away.  So, I just try to be ready and prepared for whatever comes my way - watching and waiting.

In accepting the possibility that my thorn may stay with me the rest of my life, I have moved forward with my house "projects"; and I do feel that my home is becoming more and more, a place of peace and rest.

Yet, I still ponder and wonder, and know that beauty can rise from the ashes of the burnt offering.  There is one person who has caused me to think more upon this.   My initial impression is that while I have respect for this person's abilities and role in my church, what James talks about in the Bible as evidence of faith, is not so clearly visible at the level I seek.  Still, it may just be that I don't know well enough yet or that God is still at work.  And week by week, little by little, I've been drawn in more and more, by little actions here and there.  I've been praying for God's wisdom and perspective, and I trust that God knows what is best for me.  May His Will be done.