Fragrant Aroma

"Then Aaron's sons are to burn it on the altar on top of the burnt offering that is on the burning wood, as an offering made by fire, an aroma pleasing to the LORD." (Leviticus 3:5)

I do feel like the last glow in the dying embers of my thorn offering has burnt out.  I did hear something this weekend that made me pause and wonder whether I perceived a previous situation incorrectly; and it left me a little confused and sad.  Nevertheless, I know that I had prayerfully and carefully tread; and I would not have done anything differently.  Maybe someday I will see the full picture and all will be revealed; but, for now, I will just consider that it was a beneficial and growing experience.

As my offering has all but drifted to the LORD in smoke, I just pray that it is a fragrant aroma, pleasing to the LORD.   There is nothing left but ashes, and it has been offerred totally and wholly to HIM.  It has not been easy getting to this point; but, I truly do trust God to be in control of my life and to know what is best for me.  I am content, and even rejoice in how God has woven the fabric of my life.  He is the "grand weaver" and my hope is that the tapestry of my life will be a beautiful reflection of the Maker.

End-of-Week Thoughts - Cooking and Other Things

I'm so glad to have made it through another week. I know that Ecclesiastes says that we should enjoy our work. And, while I do appreciate that I have a job in this economy, and I generally do like what I do; I still look forward to weekends. However, I expect this weekend to fly by quickly, as usual. There's the BBQ tomorrow to celebrate the birth of my friend's little girl. I had a chance to go shopping for infant clothing. There are so many cute things out there. I also bought an educational toy set. After class on Sunday, there will be our class potluck and pool party. I haven't yet decided what definitely to cook; but, because of limited time, I may just go with the pre-packaged orange chicken and vegetables that I had bought. Speaking of cooking, this week, I did utilize a cooking tip I had read about - that when cooking, it was a good idea to have 3 ingredients: 1) an oil, 2) something acidic, and 3) spice. So, in all that I made this week, I did that; and it turned out fairly good:

• Cornish Game Hen - 1) butter, 2) lemon, white wine vinegar, and 3) garlic&rosemary (with salt&pepper)
• Sauteed Spinach - 1) olive oil, 2) lemon, and 3) garlic, salt, & pepper
• Stewed Tomatoes - 1) olive oil, 2) white wine vinegar, and 3) basil
• Shredded Chicken - 1) vegetable/canola oil, 2) lemon, 3) cilantro, chili pepper
• Stir-Fry Vegetables - 1) sesame oil, 2) red wine vinegar, and 3) soy sauce, green onion

Overall, I think that this is a generally good rule-of-thumb to follow. It does seem to bring out the flavors more. Also, this week, I did watch the season finale episodes of "Merlin". The final episode once again showed that those who truly cared for one another had been willing to die for each other. I really enjoyed this series, and I hope that NBC will renew it for next season. The "Do Not Fear" series study for Sunday is in Matthew 10 on "Relationships". It wasn't exactly what I had originally thought; but, nevertheless, it's still a good study. It's a reminder that being Christ's disciples sometimes comes with the great price of hostility from those we are close to, even family members. But, Christ does assure that He is in control, will judge, and cares about the details of our lives; and that ultimately, the truth will prevail. Those who stand firm to the end will be saved. I had also finished memorizing the piano arrangement by Lisa Nelson of "My Jesus I Love Thee" up to the point where I was able to play it. And, I have started memorizing a medley arrangement by Mark Hayes of "As the Deer/Fairest Lord Jesus". I do love playing the piano; and I so wish that I was more talented. However, I am grateful for the opportunity to be able to play, and having stopped taking lessons, I can now just focus on the pieces that I really enjoy and want to learn. I've been generally keeping up with exercising; but, haven't been staying away from the snacking. So, overall, my weight has stayed the same. While my muscles seem to be tone; they seem to continually be aching slightly. I wonder if I should rest my muscles a few days a week; or if the aches will go away when my body gets used to the daily exercise. We'll see, over time. I watched "Lucky Seven" this week starring Kimberly Williams-Paisley and Patrick Dempsey. It was actually somewhat of a pleasant surprise - a sweet romance about finding one's true self after letting go of living up to others' expectations. I've also been reading Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado. The first section on "Use Your Uniqueness" builds upon the discussion my class had in Jeremiah, that we are each created unique and that God has a special plan for each of us. Max Lucado says that the cure for the common life is found at the convergence of our unique strengths/gifts, God's glory ("To Make a Big Deal Out of God" - second section), and our everyday life (third section). In line with my thoughts at the beginning of this blog entry, he even quotes Ecclesiastes 2:10 "My heart took delight in all my work" and gave the example of how Michelangelo excelled because He knew God would see the work of his hands. The intersection of my uniqueness, God being glorified, and my everyday life is actually in teaching. It has often been affirmed to me that God has given me the spiritual gift of teaching, and I have developed that gift over 20 years of experience. He has shown me how important it is that all studies glorify God, in that they reveal God to us and allow us to know HIM more. And, my "everyday" life has enabled me to be able to effectively teach, in that I have been disciplined, have always had an interest in studying Scripture, reading Christian books, learning and growing, etc. As I saw how God has been at work in the Truth 101 class, I could see that this is part of His Plan for my life. So, according to what Max Lucado wrote, teaching my Sunday class would be one "Yes!" to my S.T.O.R.Y.:

• Strengths - teaching, learning, discipline, organization
• Topics - Scripture, books, God, music
• Optimal conditions - structure, consistency
• Relationships - caring for others, helping others grow, solitude
• Yes!

Outreach

I've been thinking a lot about how I could get more involved with outreach. As I was doing my usual milestone "philosophizing", since it was my birthday, I decided that it was time for me to just take action after having thought about it for awhile now. Well, actually, it's not like I didn't already start taking steps towards reaching out more - I had already started learning more about organizations like World Vision, Samaritan's Purse, COA, etc.; and I had already started providing support. But, this weekend, I did get a couple of ideas, one of which I have acted upon. I signed up to be a World Vision volunteer at the Casting Crowns concert. This works out well, since I had wanted to go to the concert as well. I will continue to look into opportunities in my area where I can serve with these organizations. Another organization I'm interested in helping with is Habitat for Humanity. The other thought I had was related to mentoring. There is one person at church, in which I had thought about before; and I happen to see her these last few weeks. And, probably not coincidentally, we sat by each other in worship on Sunday. So, I am going to pray about whether or not I can commit to mentoring; and whether this person would benefit from being mentored by me. So, this is what came about from my Birthday ponderings. I have to say that it was a pleasant Birthday this year, celebrating with family and friends. The Dim Sum at Seafood Paradise was actually really good and prices were not bad either ($1.80, $2.60, $3.00). Afterwards, we went to a Dim Sum take-out place that my mom said was a well-known chain. They had A and B dishes at $.99 and $1.39. And, Sunday at Disneyland was fun as well. I rode the Nemo ride for the first time - cute. And, of course, we rode my usual favorites: Pirates of the Caribbean, Haunted Mansion, Indian Jones.... and ate in New Orleans square (French Market).

Rooted in Christ

This week's passage gives a similar image to that in my "winds of adversity" blog, and also in Psalm 1. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says: "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." In this passage, it shows that the secret to not fearing when heat and drought come is to be firmly rooted in our LORD. In my life, I have found that to be true. As my roots grow deeper, the more I am able to trust HIM through the trials that come my way.

Internet Access

I'm so glad that I was able to access the internet with my new laptop. The first day, I had problems configuring the setup; and I had read that there were problems with Verizon DSL with Vista. I was afraid that I would have to start down the road of new expenditures already....I could picture myself changing ISPs, buying a router (which I probably will do anyways), etc. As it is, I still need to determine what I'm going to do about Office, specifically Word. While internet access was my main reason for getting a laptop; I would still need Word for DOCs. And then, I have to figure out how to disable all the product marketing they have on the laptop. I seem to be asked constantly whether I want to buy one product after another. But, no matter what, it's just makes me happy that I was able to at least get internet access :-)

Merlin

What is it about the stories of Camelot that draw me to them so much? I've really enjoyed watching the Merlin series on TV. This is somewhat different from the typical stories, in that this shows Arthur and Merlin when they were young. And, as mentioned before, I like being able to see the development of their friendship and the trust that they have in each other. But, what I really like about these stories goes back to what I had written before about "character". There was great value placed on honor, integrity, and loyalty in Camelot. These are admirable qualities that, unfortunately, our society today doesn't seem to recognize as truly valuable anymore. However, I find that when I see a person who does value honor and integrity, and is also loyal and caring to the point where he would be able to give his life, that is truly admirable and could not help but draw me in. I really liked the episode where Merlin and Arthur, with two goblets before them - one with poison and the other not, were instructed that they each could only drink from one of the goblets. Both were willing to die for the other, but, it was Arthur who poured everything into one cup and drank, thus proving that he was "pure of heart", willing to die for his friend. Ultimately, what actually draws me is that this is a reflection of who God is, as He showed on the cross: "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

Birthday Thoughts '09

Getting together with a friend, going out for good sushi at Koi, and walking along Huntington Beach and the Seal Beach pier is not a bad way to celebrate the weekend before my Birthday. I also had a chance to spend time catching up with another friend of mine who had spent her summer break in Japan with her family. This coming weekend, for my actual Birthday, I plan to go to Dim Sum with my parents and then spend the day at Disneyland with my brothers, after Church. I was never really big on birthdays, but, it is a chance to get together with family and friends. On the flip side, it's a reminder that I am getting older. Well, age doesn't bother me so much. I appreciate all that I've had a chance to experience - becoming independent, traveling the world, learning about myself and others, etc. The part about getting older that I would like to avoid, are the health issues and having to deal more with facing death of loved ones. But, I will always remember one speaker who said that the difficulties that come with old age help us to yearn for glory, eternity with God. If we got stronger and stronger as we got older, it would be harder to want to leave this life. Isn't it interesting that Birthday thoughts actually lead to thoughts about what happens at the end of life? I just pray that I live my life in a manner that is worthy of my calling as a follower of Christ. May God use me for His Work; and may He be pleased with what I offer to HIM.

Insecurities

In our "Do Not Fear" series, we are looking at "Insecurities" this week. This could be a really good study, because I think that most everyone has insecurities. In Scripture, we see that even amazing saints and leaders like Moses, Joshua, Gideon, and Jeremiah had insecurities. But, as in our study in Chp 1 of Jeremiah shows, we do not need to let our insecurities prevent us from being used by God. God can give us the ability and power to do what He has called us to do, in spite of our insecurities. As He promised Jeremiah, He will be with us and will rescue us. The "rescue" part implies that it may not necessarily be all "smooth sailing"; but, that there will be times that we will require rescue. Insecurities, in some ways, can also be related to being a perfectionist and also fearing insignificance. A perfectionist does not want to fail; which could generate a fear when it comes to weaknesses and thus personal insecurities. In the same way, a person who fears insignificance might be insecure when a weakness appears to be magnified. In my life, I have learned that, in order to overcome my insecurities, I needed to put my confidence in the LORD. His "power is made perfect in weakness" for "when I am weak, then I am strong" in HIM (paraphrase 2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Vacation

Making decisions related to vacation fall in with the same lines of taking into consideration our current economic financial environment. To be financially responsible, we need to determine the trade-off between taking needed time off to rest versus not spending too much unnecessarily. Add to that, the need to use up expiring airline miles and the schedules of fellow travelers; planning a vacation can become complex. With my expiring miles, and having to use super saver award redemption, there are limited flights I can take. Add to that, the restrictions and preferences of those I would be traveling with; I really have limited options. I had narrowed it down to a New England cruise or a Panama cruise. Yet, because of the timing, not everyone can go and I don't really want to leave anyone by themselves during the holidays. And then, with black out airline dates, I might need to stay some extra days. So, I pray for wisdom in making the best decision, taking into account people's schedules, finances, timing, etc.

Laptop

After years of avoiding it, I finally went ahead and bought a laptop. I previously kept putting it off, since I knew that once a person buys a computer, it opens the door to start buying all the other things that will be "needed". However, in this day and age, owning a computer is virtually a necessity. And for me, it would allow me to be prepared for the possibility of needing it for any job search-related activities. In our current economic financial environment, job security is definitely not assured; and I don't want to be caught without a computer if it ever does happen. So, I've purchased the Lenovo G550 15.6" (Dual core 2GHz; 4G Mem; 320G HD; Vista Premium). The other area of consideration that went into this decision was also related to our current economic financial environment, having to be even more careful about what we spend. I do think that I was able to get a good deal on this laptop; and I do think that I do need it, in order to be prepared and responsible. So, hopefully, I won't experience buyer's remorse. I guess time will tell.

Nurturing Friendships

August is the month of National Friendship Day and World Friendship Day. Unintentionally, I also seem to be able to spend more than the usual time nurturing some of my friendships this month. Last weekend, I had a chance to just spend a Saturday evening with friends from church and class, having dinner and playing dominoes. The next day, I had a friend over for lunch. Sharing a meal together does help creating an atmosphere for good fellowship. The food also turned out pretty well. I made two types of grilled salmon - Cajun and Lemon Pepper; and cooked asparagus and gourmet rice as sides. This week, my friend who just returned from her summer break spending time with her family in Japan will be staying here for at least a day. We will get to share all that God has been doing in and through our lives since the beginning of summer. It's so neat that God allows us to go through similar life experiences at about the same time; since, it helps our bonds of friendship grow even stronger through empathy and understanding. Also, today, a co-worker friend of mine called me. My last contact with her was at Christmas; and I had tried to call her a few times this year but didn't reach her. She is having a BBQ celebrating the birth of her daughter; so, I'll get to see her and catch up at the end of this month. Over the weekend, several times, God also brought to mind another friend of mine. So, I contacted her today and was able to get an update on how she is doing. I do thank God for friendships; and I know how important it is to invest in the lives of others. I hope that I will be a true friend; and that I will continue to nurture these friendships.

Burnt Offering

I'm starting to catch glimpses and hints of what my area of focus will be next year. It all started when I heard of Steven Curtis Chapman's latest project "Beauty will Rise". It is a reminder that God can "cause all things to work together for good"; and not only that, He can also still make all things beautiful (Eccl 3:11). My thorn is still on the altar of my life; and I almost feel like, at this point, it has become a burnt offering to the LORD. With all that I have gone through and all that I can realistically see, my offering is all but ashes right now. I've encountered disappointment in hope after hope; but, I do still trust that God knows what is best for me; and that this is part of HIS Plan for my life. The past couple of weeks may have been the last glow before the fire burns out; but, I accept that HIS Grace is sufficient for me. Still, I do trust in the power of the LORD my God. He is able to cause beauty to rise from the ashes, for nothing is impossible with HIM. So, I let the ashes sit on the altar as a symbol of my trust in God despite what may never be. I will continue to live my life for HIM and will not extinguish the hope that He can choose to make "wastelands like the garden of the LORD" (Isaiah 51:3) or "turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs" (Isaiah 41:18).

Surviving Financial Meltdown

This week, I was reading "Surviving Financial Meltdown - Confident Decisions in an Uncertain World" by Ron Blue and Jeremy White. This is, of course, quite relevant in our current economic times. The book summarizes the four principles of financial success as: 1. Think long-term with goals and investing 2. Spend less than they earn 3. Maintain liquidity (or emergency savings) 4. Minimize the use of debt These are good principles to keep in mind, and it wouldn't hurt to do financial healthcheck evaluations based on these.

Psalm 62:1

Another verse that God has continually made me aware of this week is Psalm 62:1 "My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation." It's a verse that is on one of my refrigerator magnets; it's the verse on my Calendar this month; it was quoted in the chapter I was reading in a book last night. Between this and the Isaiah verse, I suppose I'm being reminded to wait on God and trust in HIM.

Isaiah 41:10

The verse in Isaiah 41:10 seems to be one that God wants me to take notice of this week, since I keep encountering it in different places. Just last night, I saw it on a book marker that I happen to pull out to use, as I was reading. So, I figure I should record it here: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)

Perspective on Ups and Downs

With the ups and downs, turns and loops in the rollercoaster of life, I've been praying for God's perspective. It's only when I can see through His eyes that I can truly face and make some sense of what I go through. This morning, God showed me the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's new song "Heaven is the Face" from his "Beauty will Rise" project. These poignant lyrics were written through his personal tragedy at the loss of his daughter. I thank God for his ministry and pray that God will continue to strengthen, heal, and work in the lives of his family. Through this, I am reminded to trust God to be at work through times that are difficult and even tragic. I hope that through my "worst days", He will be able to teach me and use me and mold me. What a great image the phrase "beauty will rise" portrays. May I become more and more a reflection of the beauty of my Creator as I am refined. Sunday, he wasn't there. I struggled between disappointment, since I was so anticipating the interaction, and concern, since he was reportedly not there due to some sort of a family issue. Emotions can really take a person for a ride. But, I've been spending a lot of time in prayer, that God would be with him and his family through whatever they are going through at this time; and that I would have His perspective and to keep from taking too much of an emotional dip. I was also frustrated and de-motivated when I stepped on the scale this weekend and found that just between Saturday morning and Sunday morning, I had gained back all the weight I had worked so hard during the week to lose. I have no idea how it happened, since I still went running and did a lot of walking on Saturday; and didn't really eat all that much more than usual. But, I'm going to try to stay on track; and if I just have to drop the very same pounds I lost last week, so be it. I went to a farewell get-together for the previous music director at my church. I'm grateful that I am able to help with the support he is raising for his seminary education plans. May God be with him and his family as they make this major move. Fortunately, there were some "ups" this weekend also.... my class study on the fear of rejection in Isaiah 41 went well. When God says that he holds us up with His right Hand and that He holds our right hand, it indicates that He gives us His strength and power. Also, it can be a picture of a parent hold up a child by going behind them and holding their hands as he/she walks. Last night, I also had a chance to talk to a friend from church on the phone. We had some good sharing time and laughs. As I was talking to her, I was trying to figure out what it was about this year that made it particularly challenging. For most of the year, I've been feeling "burnt out"; but, it's not that I've been doing more than I have in the past. In fact, in past years, I've done more. Maybe it's my health. Maybe it's all just catching up with me. I just pray that God will grant me strength and renewal; and endurance to run this race. So, now is the start of a new week. I pray that God will be at work in and through me.