My estranged friend called me, wondering why I did not reply to her email. When we talked, I was able to see the situation even more clearly; and I feel that I made the right decision.
The situation is analogous to my having been convicted of a "crime" I didn't commit and sentenced to solitary confinement, without having had a fair trial. After a year of solitary confinement, I finally asked what "crime" I was being punished for; and how long my sentence was supposed to be. I find that through misunderstandings, I have been incorrectly accused; but, I'm told that I can only receive a pardon if I confess to this "crime". And that I need to apologize for the hurt I have caused.
Well, I am sorry for the hurt that has been caused; but, I would also like to point out that I'm the one serving a sentence of solitary confinement imposed by my "friend" who wanted the separation. And, from my perspective, all the evidence against me would not hold up in a fair trial, and most of it is based on feelings. I also recognize that even if I receive this "pardon", the root cause of the problem has not been addressed; and this is all bound to continue.
So, I choose to instead serve out my sentence in solitary confinement and maintain my innocence; than to confess to a "crime" I did not commit; for even if I were to be pardoned, in her eyes, I would still be viewed as a "convicted criminal".
I believe that true healing can only come when she recognizes that I am not the "criminal" she seems to think I am; and when she realizes that I have been misunderstood. So, the only kind of pardon I would accept, is full pardon and clearing my name of the "crimes" I did not commit.
I am at peace with my decision to maintain my innocence and to serve out my sentence of solitary confinement for the "crime" I did not commit. We all have limited resources; and we have to make decisions on where we can make the most effective use of those resources. I have a much better understanding of the situation; and I feel that the burden of "not knowing" has now been lifted.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Solitary Confinement
My estranged friend called me, wondering why I did not reply to her email. When we talked, I was able to see the situation even more clearly; and I feel that I made the right decision.
The situation is analogous to my having been convicted of a "crime" I didn't commit and sentenced to solitary confinement, without having had a fair trial. After a year of solitary confinement, I finally asked what "crime" I was being punished for; and how long my sentence was supposed to be. I find that through misunderstandings, I have been incorrectly accused; but, I'm told that I can only receive a pardon if I confess to this "crime". And that I need to apologize for the hurt I have caused.
Well, I am sorry for the hurt that has been caused; but, I would also like to point out that I'm the one serving a sentence of solitary confinement imposed by my "friend" who wanted the separation. And, from my perspective, all the evidence against me would not hold up in a fair trial, and most of it is based on feelings. I also recognize that even if I receive this "pardon", the root cause of the problem has not been addressed; and this is all bound to continue.
So, I choose to instead serve out my sentence in solitary confinement and maintain my innocence; than to confess to a "crime" I did not commit; for even if I were to be pardoned, in her eyes, I would still be viewed as a "convicted criminal".
I believe that true healing can only come when she recognizes that I am not the "criminal" she seems to think I am; and when she realizes that I have been misunderstood. So, the only kind of pardon I would accept, is full pardon and clearing my name of the "crimes" I did not commit.
I am at peace with my decision to maintain my innocence and to serve out my sentence of solitary confinement for the "crime" I did not commit. We all have limited resources; and we have to make decisions on where we can make the most effective use of those resources. I have a much better understanding of the situation; and I feel that the burden of "not knowing" has now been lifted.
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