Want

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want."  (Psalm 23:1)

How much of discontent is just felt but not truly real?   As I honestly evaluate my life, I can clearly say that God has blessed me, even abundantly so. 

I'm not saying that my life is perfect, but, that is to be expected while we are here in this fallen world.   What I can say is that God has given me the opportunity to do and experience most everything that I've ever really wanted to; and there essentially isn't anything that I wish I could do but haven't been able to.  As in the story that I am reading, for many, their wish list would include things that they feel like they are not supposed to do.  But, for me, there are no temptations that lure me to want to disobey or disappoint my God.   I recognize that God's ways are best.   Besides, I know from experience, that at times when we do get what we wish for, but, it's not in line with God's best for us, it doesn't satisfy anyways.

It is possible that I just don't have grand expectations; and that I probably should dream more.  Yet, I really have been able to experience some amazing blessings, and besides, it's also Biblical to be content in our circumstances and to have a grateful spirit.    While I don't always live my life free of the feelings of discontent, especially when it comes to my thorn; but, when I really think about it, I cannot help but be THANKFUL.

2 Samuel 22

The song of praise that David offered to God in 2 Samuel 22 is also recorded in Psalm 18.  While Psalm 18 may have been sung early in David's life and then had been recounted again in 2 Samuel 22 towards the end of his life, the consistency in both texts is yet another evidence of the reliability of the transmission of Scripture over time.

As we study the passages in this "Beauty for Ashes" series, some recurring themes and topics are starting to become clear, such as praise and salvation.  It's interesting to see that 2 Samuel 22 follows a similar structure as the last passage we studied, Psalm 147; in that it starts with Praise, then recounts what God has done, includes a reference to Creation and nature using powerful images of theophany, and then includes a contrast between deliverance for the humble whom God delights in and the casting down of the haughty.

It is an encouragement to be reminded that at times when we might feel like we are "drowning", "overwhelmed", "afraid", or even facing death, distress, disaster, or "enemies who [are] too strong for [us]"; we know that we have a God Who is our rock, fortress, and deliverer; Who hears our cries for help; and Who is able.

Secrets

I've also been reading "Secrets of Six-Figure Women" by Barbara Stanny.  I came across it in a used bookstore, and didn't intend to get it; but, as I browsed through it, it seemed to have some interesting points that I thought could be useful.

One particular quote from the book that stood out for me was:  "Once we realize our challenges are purposeful, they need no longer be painful.  Once we stop seeing them as stumbling blocks, we can start using them as stepping-stones."   It's interesting how this even fits in with the lessons through the "Beauty for Ashes" series.

The other thing the book points out, is how important it is to be passionate about what we do.   I'm still pondering how realistic it is for all of us to be able to find work that we are passionate about and be able to make a living at it.  Practically, I see obstacles (e.g. lack of background and experience, lack of ability or talent, etc).   However, it is something worth considering, for I could see how it could make a difference.

The Grand Weaver

I started reading "The Grand Weaver"  by Ravi Zacharias again.

As we were doing the study on "Healing the Brokenhearted" in class, I was able to use something mentioned in the book - that our hearts are either Hard, Broken, or Tender.   It is when our hearts are broken that we could allow God to heal, and then we can develop a Tender heart, one that is in tune with God's heart and has compassion for those who have gone through what we have.  On the other hand, those who reject the healing might cause their hearts to become hardened through bitterness.

Also, in a section on "The Search for Success", Ravi said "Making it to number one really means knowing where God wants you to be and serving him there with your best efforts.  The goal, then, is to find the threads God has in place for you and to follow his plan for you with excellence."   That describes well what I have been learning about my perspective on success.  Ravi further says, "No, the goal is really not to be number one, nor is it to follow the dreams of others.  God, in his extraordinary way, can bring failure to you... in order to help you find your true calling."

Related to that, there were a couple of things that I've been thinking about.   The Figure Skating Grand Prix season has started; and as usual, watching motivates me to consider what areas I can pursue and excel in.  Also, during Community Group last week, we were reminded to be "the salt of the earth"; and I was convicted that while I do serve in various areas, I don't feel like I have any recent activity where I can really say that I have effectively "added flavor" to the world.   This, once again, reminds me of the call to evangelism and outreach; which as my pastor said on Sunday is one of the evidences of our faith.  God is at work; and I am listening and praying for His guidance.   I also thank Him for the encouragement He gave through something that was said to me on Sunday related to my thorn.   God truly does care; and He truly is able to heal the brokenhearted.

Before the Morning

"Do you wonder why you have to, feel the things that hurt you..."

This opening line to Josh Wilson's song "Before the Morning" has always caught my attention.  And listening to the words of the rest of the song, it is actually quite related to the "Beauty for Ashes" series in my class.   When we talk about the Hope that we have, it is in the context of the pain we are going through.   I really like the reminder that "the pain [we've] been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming", which is essentially what Romans 8:18 says:  "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."   This is depicted well in the picture of the "darkness before the morning".

BEFORE THE MORNING LYRICS - JOSH WILSON:

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Chorus:
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture

Chorus

Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
memory, memory, yeah

Chorus 2x

com'n, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
just the dark before the morning
before the morning, yeah, yeah
before the morning

Beautiful

"[God] has made everything beautiful in its time."   (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

The reminder of a story I loved as a child, "The Ugly Duckling" by Hans Christian Andersen, is what gave me the encouragement that I needed today.  What a wonderful story of the "duckling" who grew up thinking it was ugly only to be transformed into a beautiful swan.

I have the hope that we as believers will, in the day of glory, be transformed from the ugliness of fallen sinfulness into true beauty, which is the reflection of our Creator.  That's the ultimate beauty for ashes story.

Psalm 147

Psalm 147 is one of the five Hallelujah Psalms that begin and end with that call to "Praise the Lord"  (Hallelu - praise ye, Yah - the LORD).   God is extolled for healing the brokenhearted and binding up wounds, particularly of Israel after the exile.  In this hymn of praise in three stanzas (vs 1-6, 7-11, 12-20),  God has revealed Himself, His Power and Wisdom, through Creation and His word; and His people are exhorted to respond in praise and thanksgiving.

As the Deer

"As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God." (Psalm 42:1)

This verse often comes to mind, and "As the Deer" has always been one of my favorite worships songs.   Today, it struck me that this well describes the longing I often feel, for in this fallen world, it would seem natural that our born-again souls should desire to be in the presence of our Holy God.

Pressing On

Climbing up a steep mountain - sometimes, that's what I feel like I'm doing.   The lesson reinforced this week was that there are times I just need to keep pressing on, even when I don't feel like it.  And afterwards, there is a sense of accomplishment for having completed it, despite initially not feeling like doing it (similar to exercising).

I also stuck with the plan all week, and I'm keeping my mind on things above.  I was productive, and do think that continuing will be good for me in the long run.  I'm also taking the time to read some good books; and even picked up some new cook books that I'm excited about trying out.   Yesterday, I made vegetable chow mein, with bok choy, bamboo shoots, straw mushrooms, and "vegetarian mock abalone".   Next time, I think I will add baby corn.   In terms of seasoning, I tried many different ones, but, haven't decided what combination is best (e.g. soy sauce, hoisin sauce, oyster sauce, chili sauce, fish sauce, etc).   I also cooked snow pea sprouts (Dou Miao).   This may be one of my favorite vegetables, along with spinach.   I don't like to add much to it, since I like to be able to keep the flavor.   I think it just needs garlic and salt.

On Saturday, I had a chance to go to a COA fundraising dinner.   It was encouraging to see some of the people who went through or are going through the COA program turning their lives around.  The opening prayer, by one of the people in the program, was offered with so much joy that it brought a smile on many faces.   It reminds me that God desires what we offer from the heart, more than any well-rehearsed eloquent words.  Also, Markus Flanagan was the emcee, and he was really funny and quick-witted.  He mentioned how much he liked doing the COA event, since it is so different from the cynical atmosphere of the Hollywood industry he works in.

Sunday, I put into practice what the lesson in class was - that at times of discouragement, I could turn to the God for encouragement and reassurance.   It is neat to see that the class continues to grow.  Our roster now has over 40 people - amazing, considering we started with about 4.  I just pray that God will continue to use me; and that His Truth will be taught accurately and effectively.

Matthew 11

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."  (Matthew 11:28)

How often this verse has been quoted from this very familiar passage.  When I started preparing for this week's study, little did I know that this would not be as simple a passage to study as I expected, and the common application of the verse is actually not the main point being made.   Even the title included in my original outline, "Encouragement for the Discouraged", didn't seem to be so accurately relevant anymore.  A more apropos title might have been "Rest for the Weary".

On top of that, I was still dealing with the struggles associated with being thrown for a loop from the last study, when opposed for applying the Isaiah 61 passage to a broader audience and in a broader sense.  I am typically very careful in how a passage is applied; but, I do still stand by the broader application since it involves the ministry of the Messiah, and the blessings and promises related to salvation and restoration, which would be the same for both Gentile believers as well as the Remnant during the Millennium.   However, the benefit of encountering that challenge is to remind me to be more alert about application, which helped with this passage.

I initially thought to approach this as encouragement from Jesus to a discouraged John the Baptist in prison.   However, the passage never clearly says what John is going through.  He could be discouraged, doubting, or even confused since Christ's ministry isn't what he maybe expected (e.g. judgment and deliverance politically).   All we can say for sure is that he was seeking confirmation that Jesus was the Messiah; and Christ did give him that verification by showing evidence of His ministry as the Messiah (as prophesied in Isaiah 61).  Jesus went on to speak well of John and affirm his ministry as a prophet and fulfillment of the prophecy as the one who would prepare the way for the Messiah.

He denounced the unbelieving generation and critics, as well as the cities that did not repent despite the signs.  He then prays about God's sovereignty in choosing who to reveal Himself to.  This all then leads to the familiar verse.   In this context, this clearly refers to salvation rest for souls burdened by sin, and maybe even weary from trying to "work" for it by following the Law.  In relation to the "hidden" vs "revealed", it is important to remember that God is always Just, and none of us deserve salvation.  He chooses to reveal because of His Grace; and there is a balance between God choosing and our choosing to accept.  Similarly, our sin plays a part in unbelief and not being able to see the truth, as indicated by the references to the "wise and learned" vs the "little children".

Overall, with the theme of this series being "Beauty for Ashes", which is that Christians can have hope in the midst of devastation and tears; the passages studied so far show that this hope is rooted in the eternal perspective embodied in our salvation through Christ.

More Cooking

Most of the things I cooked last night were not really noteworthy.  Some were just staples and some didn't turn out well enough for me to really want to make it again.  But, there were a couple of things I wanted to note:

• Beef with tomatoes stew - could be considered "tex mex", especially corn were added.  Pan fried onion with bell pepper.  Removed, and then seared the beef.  Added tomatoes with basil and oregano, and put onion and bell pepper back in.  Added red wine.  Simmered for about 3 hours, till beef was soft.  This tasted pretty good and isn't too difficult to make, being a "one pot" dish.

• The other way I used the London Broil was to oven bake it with oil, vinegar, onions, garlic, soy sauce, brown sugar, and pepper.   The sauce was good.

• Potato pancakes - this could work pretty well, if I were to make each "pancake" smaller, so that the edges could crisp without the potatoes overcooking.   The fresh onion, garlic, and parsley really brings the flavor out well.  However, this tasted really good when topped with melted cheese; so, an alternative might be to make a shredded pancake casserole, with all the same ingredients and just baked with a cheese topping.

Steps in the Right Direction

I'm only two days into my new plan or "wiser path"; but, have already noticed progress, indicating that these are steps in the right direction.   Though I may still end up taking steps backwards, as I have done before, hopefully, recording this may provide encouragement to continue.  In the past couple of days, I've been able to at least address almost all the items on my "To Do" list.   Some of these things have been "hanging over my head" for weeks, and some even months or years.  I attribute this progress to being more focused and determined, avoiding things that can "pull me down" by keeping my mind on things above, and as a result, having more "energy" to face challenges.

Under Construction

I should probably be perpetually wearing an "Under Construction" sign, since God will be at work on me for the rest of my life, hopefully forming me into the person He created me to be, that I may become more and more like Him.

He is still developing me in the area of evangelism.   From all appearances, I'm not doing so well at it; but, at least I am making an effort to reach out, praying about it, and being open to learn.  I was also able to forward some resource links to my friend, some that were sent to me, and others of organizations that were known to be good resources as well (e.g. STR, InterVarsity).   The book that I'm reading says that the three things that we should talk about when sharing our faith are:  sin, repentance, and the cross.

He has also shown me where setting my mind on things above would likely help me to better deal with struggles in areas and feelings related to my "thorn".   For example, I can focus more on reading the many Christian books that I have; and to use my "leisure" and "unwinding" time for exercise and "chores".   I would consider this plan to be the wiser path to walk.  And, I would do well to remember not to let the few "sparks" of interest turn into a full "campfire", unless I am sure that that is where God wants me to "set up camp."

May God continue to be at work in me and on my life.  "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."  (Phil 1:6)

Worship

We had a Worship Summit at Church yesterday.  

Morris Chapman was the main guest musician for both the event, as well as for the Sunday morning worship service.  It was so moving, when at the start of rehearsal, in response to being asking to open us in prayer, Morris went to the piano and "sang" his prayer to God.

Dr Ross Jutsum was also a guest pianist at the event.   He reminded us that "Worship is not just for Sunday Morning, it is a way of life."   

And from a video clip on making of "Heart of Worship", it said "Worship is not just how it affects us, but what we give to the LORD."   We should rather not have church than to have one that does not worship; and we should remember that God desires the sacrifices of the heart.

Buddy Owens was the main speaker in the event, and he gave several insights into worship:

• Never confuse style or talent for anointing, which comes from prayer and enters when we are on our knees
• Worship leaders have an obligation to be worshippers themselves as well
• Our expression of love and worship to God shouldn't just be in public
• When we worship, we bring ourselves into subjection to His Glory (in line with the "river of God's grace")
• You can tell how a person worships by the way they live their life
• Psalm 89:15 - learn to "acclaim" the LORD, i.e. be able to welcome Him enthusiastically into worship
• Worship begins by saying "Thank You"; for once we thank Him for what He has done, we will soon praise Him for Who He is
• Before we ask God for more, we should thank Him for what He has already done, so that our requests are really acts of worship
• A resentful heart focuses on what one does not have; a grateful heart appreciates what one does
• Psalm 105 - "Call on the Name of the LORD", i.e. ask God to do what He is able to do because of Who He is, in line with His Character

Repertoire

I just finished memorizing my third piano piece, in meeting my goal of having at least three pieces in my "repertoire".   Unfortunately, I've forgotten all the pieces that I had previously memorized for the Music Guild when I was taking lessons, for it would be nice to have a larger, more varied, "repertoire".

However, I am pleased with these ones that I have now committed to memory, for they are hymns. As mentioned in a previous blog entry, I had memorized "My Jesus I Love Thee" and "I Need Thee Every Hour"; and I have now added "All Hail the Power".  These particular arrangements were all from "Lisa Nelson Hymn Arrangements for Solo Piano".

The words from hymns are often especially meaningful and full of theological content.   And, coupled with beautiful arrangements, this music is truly a gift from God.

Isaiah 61

"...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes..." (from Isaiah 61:3)

This passage is where the title of my next Bible Study series, "Beauty for Ashes", comes from, as well as many of the other lesson headings for this series. 

To exemplify the amazing consistency and overall unity in Scripture, Luke 4:16-21 describes Jesus reading the Isaiah 61:1-2a verses and saying "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."; for, He is the Messiah, the "anointed" One, as mentioned in the first verse.  Verse 1 also shows the working of the Trinity, the Father who sends the Spirit to empower the Son, in His "beauty for ashes" type ministry (e.g. good news to the poor, healing the brokenhearted, comforting the mourners, rebuilding the ruins, etc).

The emphasis is on salvation and restoration.   Even "Beauty for Ashes" is the picture of ashes sprinkled on the head in mourning and sorrow being replaced by a beautiful crown or a victory garland.    Throughout the passage, mourning refers to godly sorrow for sin leading to repentance, and comfort to forgiveness of sin leading to salvation.

We are reminded that all of this is done for God's glory (vs 3) and because of Who He Is (vs 8).   And our natural response should be to PRAISE HIM (vs 10-11).  This is why, as SCC said, even in grief, we can have HOPE.

Messages

There are some messages that just clearly seem to be from God.   No, He doesn't audibly speak to me directly, nor does He show up in front of me in a "burning bush".  But, he does sometimes send me a "note", like from a book or a Bible passage; or gets my attention through something someone says or through a sermon.

In the past few months, He's been telling me to work on the area of evangelism.  Just today, an email from STR shared some reminders when reaching out:
"One, respect people.
Two, begin at their beginning.
Three, don’t push.
Four, use questions.
Five, be clear."

He's also been making me more aware of those who are struggling with feelings of depression; and the devotional I'm using "In the Arms of God" by Dr James Dobson with quotes from "When God Doesn't Make Sense" give encouragement in this area.   There are reminders to submit to the sovereignty of God, that He "works for the good of them who love Him", and that "He is infinitely just and His timing is always perfect". 

One quote that particularly stood out:  "Jehovah didn't explain to Joseph what He was doing through years of heartache.... He was expected, like you and me, to live out each day in something less than complete understanding", especially since "Scripture tells us that we lack the capacity to grasp God's infinite mind or the way He intervenes in our lives."

We are not to be surprised by trials, and we would be less prone to fall into depression if we are expecting them.  Also, during refinement by fire, it is good to remember 2 Corinthians 3:18, "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

Il Divo

I came across a PBS special, featuring Il Divo's newest album, "The Promise"; and have been watching videos of their music all week.  I admit to being drawn into becoming one of the millions of fans who have made them the multi-platinum international chart-topping operatic pop vocal group that they are. 

Of their albums, I do like their newest the best, with songs like "Hallelujah (Aleluya)", "Adagio", and "Amazing Grace".  With their classical training, they do have an amazing sound; and add to that likeable personalities, sharp Armani suits, and good looks, it's not a wonder that they have become so popular.

Authentic Communication

I attended a book event and panel discussion yesterday for "Authentic Communication" by Tim Muehlhoff and Todd Lewis.   Dr Lewis has a really good speaking voice that captures one's attention and comes out clearly; and both authors gave good highlights from a couple of the chapters in their book.

While there really weren't any earth-shatteringly new concepts, however, the speakers were able to pull together several communications points and bring it to the forefront, so that we can be more clearly aware of them:

• Communication is important in order for us to be able to effectively engage the world of ideas within the contours of the Christian Worldview, rather than privatizing our faith
• For someone as analytical and mathematical as I am, the theories and models presented, make sense and are easier to remember:

1. Persuasion and Effectiveness can be modeled by the inversely proportional relationship between predictability and information; which, for someone as analytical and mathematical as I am, makes sense and is easy to remember.  So, for example, Jesus was good at speaking in a manner with "low predictability", in that he used expected and different language and techniques; and that resulted in "high information", getting people's attention and getting His point across
2. The Social Judgment Theory and Latitudes of Acceptance chart is another way to model the concept that the road to salvation is a process and each encounter in evangelism can be a step in that process, from Rejection to Non-Commitment to Acceptance
3. Congruity Theory can help remind us to start with shared "beliefs" by looking for congruency; and then expanding upon that
4. The process of coming to Christ follows the pattern of Compliance->Identification->Internalization; and the three modes of persuasion, most effectively used together, are:  Pathos (emotional proof), Logos (empirical evidence, testimony, logic), and Ethos (source credibility, trustworthiness, charisma)

• "Abnormal Communication" in our "Argument Culture" can be effective in breaking the "Communication Spiral" by altering the normal response.   

1. There are examples from Scripture, such as Romans 12:14, 17; and 1 Peter 3:9, where we not only do not "curse" back; but we offer a blessing.
2. Content is meaningless without the relational aspect, so personal narratives can be effective.  In our "bridge building", we do still need to bring them to the point of decision, but be aware that listening and seeking to understand can easily be casualties in our "Argument Culture"
3. There is a difference in adversarial interaction during debate versus personal interaction; so, that we can agree to disagree on a topic but not extend any dislike to the person.  And we can be "quietly blunt" without being overtly combative or condemning
4. There is a difference between guilt (outside in) and conviction (inside out)

Most importantly, with all these communications concepts, tools, and techniques,  we need to trust the work of the Holy Spirit; and remember that God is omniscient and I am not.  God works in ways we may not even be aware of; and we are not expected to know everything.  Besides, for someone else to be "smarter" or even a better communicator, does not change the TRUTH about God.