End of Week Musings

It's the end of the week, and I have the weekend to look forward to... A big part of me is anticipating my next interaction on Sunday; for, it's been on my mind all week. However, I do feel that I've been able to pray about, think it through, and have a good perspective, with my emotions in check. My friend and I have said that we can probably analyze our way out of almost everything; and in some ways, I may have done it here. I know when I logically think things through, I recognize that there are risks and uncertainties. So, I'm approaching this with subdued expectations and restrained reserve. One thing I am happy about, however, is that I've been motivated to work on my weight. With exercising every day this week, and watching what I ate, I've been able to get on track and drop a few pounds. I'm going to try to keep this up the next few weeks, so that I can get back to my ideal weight. In preparing for my Sunday class lesson on the fear of rejection, I feel like it could be a very deep lesson; but, from just going through the passage, I have only touched the surface. I'm hoping that by Sunday, the Spirit will reveal to me some additional insight. When we think of the fear of rejection, we often think of it in relation to others; but, the passage in Isaiah 41 actually talks about the fear of rejection by God, since it was from the perspective of the Israelites while they were in captivity and exile due to judgment for their sins against God. But, throughout the passage God assured them that He has not forsaken or rejected them, and that He was with them and would help them. That assurance is actually what can help us deal with rejection from others, for while others may reject us; God never will. The passage also deals with rejection from the world, showing that God is the One True God, and the "idols" that the world turns to instead are really worthless and are as nothing. Last night, "The Listener", one of the shows that I have been watching this summer was no longer on; and looking at the website, it seems like it will no longer be airing. I have a bad track record of liking shows that often get cancelled, and it will be unfortunate if this is the case here. I like the idea that the main character uses his gift to help others. I think what could've made the show better may have been the casting for Olivia. Somehow, she doesn't inspire us to root for their relationship. But, other than that, I think the show is well-written and has good stories. I also watched "So You Think You Can Dance". The final dancers are talented; but, there isn't one that truly stands out. There seems to have been more stand-out dancers in previous years. Besides, the dancer that was my favorite this season has already been eliminated. This week, I received a support letter from my church's previous music director. The church he was just at is sponsoring him to go to seminary; and there's a farewell gathering for him and his family this weekend. I pray that God may guide them and use them. And I pray that He will reveal to me, as a steward of His resources, how much I can send for support. I am grateful for all that God has blessed me with. My desire is that He will show me how I can most effectively serve HIM and live my life for HIM.

Stepping Stone

To depict what I wanted to blog about today, I thought back to an illustration, from the Truth Project, of "stepping stones" to represent what the early pilgrims felt they were doing: "Last and not least, they [the Pilgrims] cherished a great hope and inward zeal of laying good foundations, or at least of making some way towards it, for the propagation and advance of the gospel of the kingdom of Christ in the remote parts of the world, even though they should be but stepping stones to others in the performance of so great a work." A person in my class told me of how she has personally benefited from the lessons so far in our "Do Not Fear" series. And, she was even able to use some of what she has learned, when she spoke at her Women's group meeting; additionally, even applying the lessons to overcome her fears and allow God to use her. This is one of the many things that make all the time and effort put into preparing and teaching the class worthwhile. I feel like God is able to use me to lay a "stepping stone" in His overall path for the advancement of spreading of the gospel and His Word. And the person in my class may have lain the next stepping stone for someone in her Women's group, and so forth. What a privilege and blessing to be a part of God's overall Work and Plan.

More

I was pondering what to title this entry and decided to go with "More", one of Matthew West's hit songs. I also went with the picture of the sun, since it is related to the beginning line of the chorus in the lyrics to that song: "I love you more than the sun".... I heard Matthew West in concert this weekend at FishFest, along with Mercy Me, Jars of Clay, Phil Wickham, NeedtoBreathe, and Francesca Battistelli. Matthew was one of my favorites of the day. The song that really stood out for me was "The Motions". It is so true that I don't just want to go through the motions, but instead I desire to live with consuming passion for God! I also really enjoyed listening to Francesca, whom I have never heard in concert before. It's interesting how she was able to write her hit song "Free to Be Me" after the unfortunate circumstance of getting into an car accident with a lawyer. It shows how God does "cause all things to work together for good". And, of course, it is always a nice to listen to MercyMe and Jars of Clay. There was also a speaker, who works with Compassion, and he had an interesting theme, that when the world says "No Way", we can say "Yahweh". It is true that God is the God of the impossible. Sunday, was a special day. I got to church early, since I was running the projector. I was able to help incorporate a video for the sermon; and to help with some song edits. And, I had some encouraging interactions with others. With one particular interaction, I don't think I've ever really felt this way before - to have the hope of the possibility of having that empty part of my heart filled by someone who has such amazing qualities. I am aware that there is still so much unknown; but, the hope does fill me with joy; and for now, I'm going to enjoy the effect of the "glow". Also, we really had good discussion in class, as we studied Psalm 91 on the fear of harm. The passage shows that God is able to protect us from all manner of harm at all times; but also that He is sovereign in when to protect, according to His Will and Plan. Ultimately, for those of us who love Him and dwell in Him, our spiritual life is fully protected for eternity.

Significance

I've been thinking about what I had heard Max Lucado say related to his new book "Fearless". He said that one of the most common fears was the fear of insignificance. I myself have often struggled with the fear of insignificance. But, when I stop to think about the truth and what Scripture says, I would have to say that feelings of insignificance are not based on the truth. What the Bible shows us that we are in fact more significant than any other of God's Creation. In Psalm 8:3-6, it says: When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him? Yet You have made him a little lower than God, And You crown him with glory and majesty! You make him to rule over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet Out of all creation, only man had the privilege of being created in the image of God. He loved us so much, that He sent His Son to die for our sins and to offer us salvation. That, is not insignificance. A person might rationalize that while God has placed significance on mankind, individually, I am not personally significant. But, I think that's a choice that we each can make. We can choose to make a difference, by looking for opportunities to touch the lives of others. There are always people around us who are in need, and many times, the little things in life can be very special.

Full Weekend

After a fairly busy and somewhat challenging work week, I was truly ready for the weekend. It is always nice to get a break from work and to balance out life with other things, although the weekend being so full, was not exactly restful. I did get a chance to fellowship with my small group for "movie night" on Friday. We watched a sweet touching movie on DVD, "Secondhand Lions". The movie showed the great bond between the brothers, Garth and Hub; and what a special relationship that was developed with their nephew Walter. There were also many humorous scenes; and it just made for a fun evening filled with laughter. Saturday, I went to a Reasons to Believe lecture by Dr Fuz Rana on "Life in the Lab - What the new Science of Synthetic Biology reveals about the Origin of Life and Intelligent Design". It is interesting that, in spite of common speculation that being able to create life in the lab may eliminate the need for God or may substantiate the evolutionary origin of life paradigm; what science is finding is that the work and effort it takes to create something similar to a simple bacterial cell, let alone complex molecules, actually demonstrate that life cannot emerge apart from intervention and ingenuity of an intelligent agent. And those Synthetic Biologists who know that the intelligent agent is God have the privilege of seeing that their work glorifies HIM, for the work is a reflection of the creative process of our Creator. I also saw an episode of the "Legend of the Seeker", which showed how the Seeker's character and true love helped him to overcome pain and control by the evil followers of Darken Rahl. It's a classic good versus evil series that's interesting to watch. Then, I watched the movie "A Cool, Dry Place" on TV. The name seems to have come from the line in the movie when the wife Kate describes to Russell (played by Vince Vaughn) how he protected their son Calvin on one of their picnics when a storm hit. While it was a nice movie, I think it would've benefitted from a more memorable title. Still, I enjoyed watching it. The relationship between father and son was touching; and the struggles faced were believable. While the elements of adultery, break-down of marriage, abandoning maternal responsibility, loss of temper, etc in the movie are not laudable; it is nevertheless a realistic reflection of our culture. I was surprised, however, at how much of an effect this movie had on my "thorn". I'm still waiting for the rejoicing to come in the morning. Sunday, I ran the projector for service. There was one song in which I had to fix the slides for a problem where the cause was not fully clear - I'm just grateful that the slides were able to be sufficiently fixed prior to the start of service. We had a guest worship leader and pianist that morning, Dr Ross Jutsum, who also provided a family concert of praise later in the evening. As always, I enjoy hearing the stories behind some of the songs that he had written; and I always enjoy listening to and watching pianists play. It was also fun to hear him give a short "music appreciation course" by playing "Mary had a Little Lamb" in different styles: Baroque (Bach), Classical (Mozart), Romantic (Tchaikovsky), Contemporary (Schoenberg), and even disco (BeeGees). Unfortunately, I missed the end, since I had to leave the concert early for my brother's birthday celebration. After some discussions with my family, to account for schedules, cost, etc; it looks like I may not be taking that New England cruise in the Fall; but that our family may go to Orlando again. It was funny that in our discussions about how difficult it was to find good discount deals on admission to the Disney World parks, my brother made a joke about how financially demanding that little mouse can be. All I can say, is that no matter what, that little mouse sure knows Marketing well (actually, he is considered to be a pretty big mouse).

Fearless

It's interesting that as my class is going through this "Do Not Fear" series, I find that Max Lucado has a book coming out in the Fall called Fearless. That would've been a nice title for my series, catchier than "Do Not Fear". It would've also been nice if the book could've come out sooner. I'm sure that it would have so much relevant information I could reference throughout my study series. In his great story-telling way, he would be able to tie Scripture into interesting life stories. I had a chance to preview the first Chapter, and it really has some very good thoughts and insights. What's neat, is that he also makes the link between FEAR and lack of FAITH. He suggested that our default emotion to difficulties should not be FEAR, but rather the contrasting emotion of FAITH. He also gives some great quotes on FEAR:

• "Fear corrodes our confidence in God's goodness"
• "Fear, at its center, is a perceived loss of control"
• "Fear creates a form of spiritual amnesia.....It makes us forget what Jesus has done and how good God is."

He said that 21 out of the 125 Christ-issued imperatives in the Gospels urge us to "not be afraid" or "not fear" or "have courage", or "take heart" or "be of good cheer". And that link between FEAR and lack of FAITH is again shown in Matt 8:26 when Christ says “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?” when he is awakened by the frightened disciples when the seismos storm hit, one that shook them with fear. May our faith help us to overcome our fears.

Directions without Destination

I felt drawn to write; but, my thoughts flow in so many different directions without any clear destination. This is unusual for me. I'm generally very goal-oriented, quite methodical and logical, and usually focused and purposeful. Yet, here I am, filled with many random thoughts and emotions, ready to spill over onto the page. So, here goes....I'm just going to write what comes to mind - all that is swirling around my thoughts (maybe not "all", but at least what I can make enough sense of, in order to put into words) In terms of work, some of the pressures have been pushed back. A deadline was changed, and we are gaining some clarity in the earlier fog. I figure that I can learn and grow through all experiences, both good and difficult. For Sunday's class lesson, I'm once again pleased with what the Spirit has been able to teach me. As commonly happens, when I first looked at the Psalm 46 passage, it seemed so short and I was not sure how I could generate an hour's worth of teaching content from it. However, as I prepared and allowed God to show me what He wanted me to teach, I was amazed at all the nuggets of truth in it. Just recognizing that God is our refuge, strength, and fortress, able to help us in any trouble really should allay our fears even in light of natural disasters and wars. And ultimately, he will restore creation and bring universal peace. Beautifully, towards the end of the passage, Psalm 46:10a encourages us to "Be still and know that [He is] God". It is when we cease striving, stop, and recognize Who He is, that we can turn our fears into faith in His deliverance and protection. I had a chance to re-organize some of the things in my garage this week. I'm looking for places where I may be able to donate some of the things that I have; since, others may find useful what I no longer need. And, I also need to look into where I can dispose of some accumulated "junk" in my garage that can't just be thrown out with the regular trash. I put in a couple of exercise sessions this week; but, not as much as I would've liked to. I also didn't eat as healthily as I would've liked to either. I'll keep working at it.... In the jumble of the various media feeds into my system this week from the TV and computer, as I try to sort through it all, what is worth noting? I recognize how different I am from the general mainstream person - I think differently, and I have different standards, and I have different preferences. If what I watch and read is a reflection of my interests, then it shows me that I have a desire to help people, and that I have a creative side and like the arts (dance, music, etc) and cooking. I also have a very romantic side; and there is much in our media culture that could easily spark musings on relationships, marriage, loneliness, singleness, independence, etc. Of course, these musings sometimes bring me back to my thorn. I don't fully understand, but I do trust. Well, that wasn't bad for analysis of my random contemplations. I've been able to learn a little bit about myself, record what my week was like, and work through some of the emotion and jumbled thoughts.

Encouraging Note

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7) I received an encouraging note today from one of the people in my class, who shared how the 2 Timothy 1:7 verse helped to calm her fears several times already this week. I love getting feedback from people in class, especially when it shows how God's Word is at work. This was also the second person who mentioned that our class is growing. It would be interesting if we really do outgrow our current classroom. That is truly God at work, considering how we struggled with not having very many people the first year, and how for our very first class in our new church building, there were only two people. I did share with the class, that being such a shy person, it was "fearful" for me to have to speak in front of a group every week; but, my commitment through self-discipline helps to overcome the fear, and enables me to teach each week. And, it is when I see how God uses the lessons to touch others that makes it all worthwhile. He has definitely affirmed that "teaching" is one of my spiritual gifts, and that this is what He has called me to at this time.

Faithful is He

In concluding his series on 1 Thessalonians, my pastor shared his life verse: "Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass." 1 Thessalonians 5:24. It is so true, that God is faithful; and so we trust that when He calls us to be part of His Plan, He will bring it to pass. In my class Bible Study, in 2 Timothy 1 for the "Do Not Fear" series, Paul reminds Timothy of God's past faithfulness. Remembering that He has been faithful, does help us to better face current challenges. Today was a good example of God causing things to work out, even though, at the start of the day, it didn't look like it would. I just needed to trust.

In His Hands

I praise God that He holds me in His Hands. He does cause all things to work together for good; and I am so glad that He is in control. I was dreading facing today, running and attending meetings for my chaotic projects. But, thankfully, I made it through. There are still open issues; but, I trust in the LORD to grant me wisdom and strength. I will just do my best and leave the rest to HIM. In some ways, this has been a practical application of what I've been studying regarding not being afraid or fearful. I was able to gain peace by giving it to God in prayer and trusting HIM to work it out. As I was preparing for Sunday's lesson, the verse in 2 Timothy 1:12 once again stood out: "That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day." The apostle Paul was confident in WHO he believed in and has entrusted his life to. In the same way, I can face all my trials without fear, because I know WHO I believe in and have entrusted my life to - my LORD and my God. Amen!

Reflection

I was reading today, and a beautiful image was painted in the story; which made me think of how it applies to my relationship with God. The picture is this - that I am like a lake that reflects back the sun. He is the one who shines, and I only glow by virtue of His rays. How beautiful is that! May I truly be a reflection of HIM.

Focus

Why is it that when there is one major troubling thing in our life, it becomes the only thing that we can focus on. It's as if all else blurs, and the only thing we see is the difficulty. And because it is a challenge, it ends up draining us emotionally and physically. As I ponder this, I am reminded of lyrics to some songs which would be good to apply. The words to "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus" come to mind:

O soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see? There’s a light for a look at the Savior, And life more abundant and free!

Refrain

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace.

It is good to allow God to be our focus, so that all else would grow dim in light of HIM. May He be my Vision and Focus. Amen!

Organization

Disorganization can breed stress and chaos. I've experienced it with the current projects at work. These clearly illustrate how important organization and leadership is. The resulting issues I see with the projects are caused by the following:

• Inexperienced leaders - those given the role to make decisions being unfamiliar with existing processes
• Lack of well-defined requirements - new requirements keeps being added and various teams have different ideas of what needs to be done and by whom
• Communication problems - too many different meetings in which decisions made are not being agreed upon or communicated properly to others involved but were not included in the meeting

When stress and chaos arise, it affects motivation and direction, resulting in wasted time. It is key to have well-organized leaders who have clearly defined requirements and direction. And, decision-making should be centralized and communicated clearly to all involved.

4th of July '09

The 4th of July weekend flew by. Yesterday, it was neat during worship service to be able to kneel and have a time of prayer for our country. I am grateful for the Judeo-Christian values that our country was founded upon; and I am grateful for the freedoms that we have. I pray that we will not lose these in the slippery slide down the post-modern slope that our culture seems to be traveling on. I'm also grateful for our military, helping to fight for the freedoms that we enjoy. On Friday, I finally finished painting my garage. It was last year that I started; but, had to stop because I cut my hand and had to get stitches. Coincidentally, that same glass that cut my hand last year; fell down on my ankle this year and cracked. I call it my "bad luck glass"; and I'm glad to be rid of it. The garage looks a lot nicer now that it's painted. I'm grateful for all the help I had in painting - my parents and my friends last year; and my brother and dad this year. Saturday, I had a chance to get together with a friend and a few of her friends from church to celebrate her 40th birthday. It was nice. We had lunch at a sushi place; and then went to see "The Proposal". It was a really cute romantic comedy. I liked that it showed how, at the end, things worked out in a way that fit God's design for relationships - that Andrew (played by Ryan Reynolds) took the lead in the relationship, even though Margaret (played by Sandra Bullock) was previously the boss. It also showed how he would protect and care for her; and how she would develop respect for him; and how they learned to communicate more deeply. I actually watched quite a few movies this weekend. I saw "The Soloist" with my mom; and also caught "Bourne Supremacy" on TV. "The Soloist" reminded me of the neighborhoods I grew up near. And, I could see why the Bourne series did so well. It was action-packed, and it was very impressive what the character Jason Bourne was able to do and anticipate, to stay ahead of all those who were after him. Now, the weekend is over; and we start our normal routines again. I am, however, looking forward to this new Bible Study series. I've already gotten a lot of good feedback from people. It's a topic that many can relate to; for we all have fears. It really brings clarity when I realize that fear entered the world when man fell, and severed the peace and protection that comes from a close relationship with God. And, that's why fear and anxiety comes with lack of faith and trust in the LORD. I was also reminded of the comfort I gained, as I was growing up, from Psalm 27:1 "The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?" Amen.